Wednesday, September 21, 2011

What Gives?!

For you guys who don't know me that super well; I have a phobia and that phobia is associated with Centipedes. They freak me beyond words can describe. I have an instantaneous nervous-breakdown which involves me screaming bloody murder, sobbing big fat wet tears, and melting to the ground while moaning in agony. Yep. That's me. Here's a picture to further prove what I mean by what I am saying......

Don't worry; I don't prance around in a  zipped hoodie sweater with my bra exposed
and scream while seeing a centipede.
As for  carrying the stake; I plead the fifth. 

Anyway, this morning; I was cleaning my kitchen---sweeping the floor which has become my daily chore because none of our cats can manage to keep litter inside their litter box. Swish Swish Swish went my broom. Boom!A little bug scurried away from the sweeping machine of death. At first, I thought it was our dreaded Silverfish. There had been sightings of big fat Silverfishes here and there. Don't worry...they met their demise. 

Not sure what is the difference between Silverfish and Centipede?

Sweet Baby Jesus; nearly died seeing this.
But anyway, a centipede has zillion legs
and is hairy and gross.
It is found EVERYWHERE just to torture you.
This is silverfish. If you are from Australia...then
it is called Firebrat. Who knew.
No crazy legs. Not hairy.
Just black, or white.
Often found in bathroom, kitchen, or bedroom areas.
Upon googling for a silverfish, I am able to
look at pictures without having a mini-breakdown.

Upon a closer inspection; I saw that it was NOT our little common silverfish, but a demon from hell....centipede! For a moment; I felt a nervous-breakdown panic attack narrowing, gasping breaths, and feeling like I was just going to freaking die.

Then by grace of an inner Amazon woman inside me snapped! A deep voice from within is just a baby. Snap out of it. Do you want it to scurry away and possibly grow into a giant adult and even more hairy and gross? Therefore if it becomes an adult; you will just die, and be unable to survive through that encounter and possibly want to move out of this cute flat? Now it is a baby centipede. Innocent. Small. Naive. Easily killed. Which one do you want? A small baby centipede; easily killed or....a giant demon from hell to give you a heart attack later? 

Well, I smashed it with my broom...repeatedly. 

It turned into a pancake centipede while Missy sat nearby with a look of amazed contempt on her face, completely convinced that her human mommy has gone insane, and her tip of the tail twitched as if she was giggling at me. But.....a dead centipede was a mission accomplished even though I looked insane in front of a  smug, laughing cat....never mind that she refused to kill centipedes in the past. Geez, thanks, Cat. Nonetheless.........

I am a woman.....HEAR ME ROAR.

Yet.......I am able to look at close-up picture of a maggot-- which my good friend christened him as Fangy Muppet---and not freak out. Matter of fact, I think this is pretty bad-ass. What really gives? Really.