Monday, November 28, 2011

The Thanksgiving When Our Dog Ate.....

Why....hello guys! By now, we all should be finally waking up from our turkey coma, crazed shopping madness, and settling into jolly Christmas cheer. As for Stu and myself; we are also recovering from our mini-scare that occurred a day before Thanksgiving regarding Bat Girl. What happened on that day is a very poignant, classic, and hilarious all in one ....which will be always dubbed as in "The Thanksgiving When Our Dog Ate My Wedding Ring" for years yet to come. 

By now you are double-checking my earlier statement and seeing those words " ate my wedding ring". and wondering if you truly, really, did see what I typed. Yes, you read it right. Layla, our Bat Girl, ate my wedding ring. What? How did that happen? You may inquiry. Well, well, folks....come closer and I will tell you....

I was in the shower when I noticed a dark shadow creeping next to the shower stall. For a moment; I wondered why Layla was so keen on sitting next to the shower, and it was something she never really did in the past. I did not think much of it. I finished showering and stepped out. Layla greeted me. Her rump was on the blue mat, tail thumping softly against the cream tile, and her brown eyes stared at me rather expressively. Characteristically Basset Hound that she was; there was a long stringy, ropy drool hanging from end of her black lip down to her jowl. I chuckled at her mannerism and walked over to the toilet. Layla followed slightly behind of me. 

I went to my neatly stacked, folded clothes on the closed lid of toilet seat. I reached down to grab the first item which was my ring...and to find that my ring was not there. 

Okay. Maybe my ring fell off and slid somewhere around nearby. I quickly dressed and fell upon my knees. I spread my fingers, and began to feel around for my ring. Layla poked her snout against my side, and was probably wondering why her human was on her 4 legs instead of two. I searched with a remarkably calm restraint while texting desperately to several of my friends and Mom that my ring had gone missing. Armed with steady feedback from my posse; I desperately prayed that I was going to find my ring, and rechecked all spots several times. I even undressed then dressed once again to ensure that the ring didn't fall anywhere onto or into my clothes. No luck. 

I ran into the kitchen which was adjacent to the bathroom and moved my stove in case if Missy had gotten a hold of my ring and somehow pushed my ring under the stove. Nothing! I ran to the fridge; moved it, and to my growing ring! 

I ran back into the bathroom with a terrible dawning realization that my ring was, indeed, missing. Unable to hold my panic inside of me; I stomped my feet as if I was a child, and screamed strings of expletives which I probably mustn't repeat here. 

Suddenly, it dawned to me, and I turned my head so fast that I narrowly missed a whiplash. My eyes landed on the culprit. 

LAYLA!Did you eat my ring?????? Her eyes averted rather guiltily away from me. Crap, I thought to myself, and ran to my videophone. I grabbed the vet phone number and called the vet. I got a hold of a receptionist and explained my situation to her. Then she put me on a hold--which felt like an eternity, by the way. The relay interpreter tried his damnest not to laugh while I bit my nails short to the quick. The receptionist finally returned with a word from my vet. She gave me two options; bring Layla in for an x-ray exam which was going to cost me a pretty penny or allow my ring coast through her system and wait her to poop it out. She assured me that Layla was not going to be harmed in any way unless if she began vomiting or pooping blood. The interpreter disconnected me from the receptionist then smiled at me. Good luck, he wished and laughed. I chuckled and nodded my head then hung up. 

I sat back on the sofa, on the verge of tears because I was unable to get a hold of Stu, and on the verge of strangling Layla. Fortunately, I had a plenty of assurance from my friends via texting and phone call. I really did not want to spend the whole Thanksgiving hunting through her poop to find my bling. Imagine that! 

Throughout the whole chaotic mess; Layla snored softly on her doggy bed, rather oblivious that her human mommy was breaking down from worry and stress, and dreamed of only what dogs dreamed of. I ended my conversation with my good friend a few hours later. At this point, Layla began pacing around the living room, and I figured she had to pee. 

I went to use the bathroom first before taking Layla out. I went out the bathroom into the adjacent kitchen to catch Layla squatting next to the door. My first instinct was, crap, I had to take her out! Then my next reaction was this...oh let her poop, please, please, pwetty little girl, poop with all of your mighty and bring my ring out of your rear end!

With my anxious anticipation; she pooped, and my ring showed up among her smelly business. I cheered; jumped for joy and screamed gooooooooooooooooooooood girl! Layla picked up her ear and cocked her head. 

Unfortunately, next came a dirty up. Blah! Fear not; my ring turned up undamaged even though smelly and slightly stained. 

Kay, Here I come soon! 

Sure enough, Stu came home shortly after that, and laughed hard. Then he said, "Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for Kay Jewelers making a ring strong enough to safely pass through my dog's digestive system!"

Yep, I think it is safe to say that this is a story to be reminisced every Thanksgiving. 


1 comment :

  1. Hahahaha I laughed out loud reading this post!!! I'm glad you got your ring back! Definitely a Thanksgiving to remember. :-)