Monday, June 17, 2013

Behind The Camera

More often than not, I am behind the camera, busily capturing life as it unfolds before my very eyes, and my subject is often my son. It is not very often that I find myself in front of the camera. I find that I am awkward when someone takes a picture of me. I feel "watched", and unnatural which leads to me being critical of how I look in the pictures. It is a bit strange because I have no problem getting on my knees, and snap away the button. I am not sure if this is a "photographer" thing. I put a quotation for photographer because I am, by no mean, a photographer. I happen to enjoy taking pictures, capturing life, and creating memories. I do not seek for any credit, or to show off my work. It just is. I love taking pictures. Love it. But me as a subject...not much so. 

A cow from Russ Family Farm, picture I took back in 2011 

I look at pictures of my son, and my husband or random things I happen to like, and take a picture of then I wish I have more pictures of myself. Now, it is not for vanity purpose, mind you. It is to leave something for my son, and any future unborn kids I may end up having someday to look at. I do wish I had more pictures of my mom from when she was younger. 

My mom claims that she doesn't like how she had looked, doesn't like the camera, and doesn't have time to be pictured. I respect that. At the same time, I do really like seeing pictures of her throughout her life. I see a graceful, beautiful, and a powerful woman in her right. I don't see what my mom claims to see. I see my mom. I won't have her forever in my life, and I would like something to look back on. 

My dad's work, please do not take without permission

The funny thing is, my dad is kind of the same way. I don't have much pictures of him. He is pretty much like me. Not really a fan of being in front of the camera. He prefers to be behind the camera. His work is gorgeous, and he has a gift with photography. That is why I wonder if it is a photographer thing not to be 100% crazy to be in front of the camera? Or maybe it's just my personality. Surely, I can't be the only one? Anyway, I figured that I needed to take more pictures of myself so my kids can look back and say, hey's that my mom.... So I will have to start taking more pictures with Forrest, or just by myself, and with Stu. Besides Stu, and I are a bit overdue to have a nice couple picture! 

Our recent weekend was really lovely. We went up to the Farm to get away from life for a bit, and enjoy ourselves. Stu wanted to spend his first Father's Day with family. I was game for it. I took a lot of nice strolls with Forrest, and the kids played together. Forrest had a lot of kick out of his new swing! We set up a date for Forrest's Baptism in July. By the way, I finally found a really nice white Polo Shirt for the baptism! 

Aunt RO, and Mom came up for a visit. They spoiled Forrest, and Forrest loved seeing them. We had a stroll in the Downtown, and it was lovely. Stu, and I agreed that we needed to go down for a visit to see the other side of family (my side) soon to catch up with everybody else especially with my dad's birthday coming up. 

It is hard to believe that June is nearly over. It feels like time is flying so quickly, and that July of 4th is coming up soon! I'm planning on enrolling Forrest in a swim class if everything works out. Our second wedding anniversary is coming up soon. It doesn't even feel like 2 years has passed by...yet it has. Stu is busy with starting up summer graduate classes, and teaching summer school. I am so glad that this will be his second to last semester because by next spring, he will be graduating, and it's one less thing on his plate! We are already planning to enter 5k (for me), and 1/2 marathon race for Stu. Because of that, we have been diligently searching for a decent running stroller that is affordable. It is definitely a quest in itself! 

I lost 2 potential strollers. Drat. I am keeping an optimistic attitude though, and we will snag one soon enough! Thinking positive here! Let's hope we will find one. Then it will make me one very happy Mama. 

I have a few "It's the Deaf Thing" topic ideas plucked out, and all they need to be typed down when I have time to sit down, and think without welcomed interruptions. I think those ideas are pretty good. I look forward to sharing them with rest of you! 

In the meanwhile, enjoy the rest of this beautiful day. 

1 comment :

  1. I worry I don't have enough pictures of myself for my kids, but I just hate seeing what I look like. Which is silly since if that's how everyone sees me, what difference does it make? I'm walking around like this all the time whether I accept it or not.