Monday, July 17, 2017

Fox is ONE month old!

Dear Fox,

You are ONE month old! Just like how it is with your other two older brothers, I am in a constant awe of how fast time flies, and those past four weeks have gone by in a blur. It does not feel like it is a long ago that I was pregnant with you, and waiting for your arrival. Yet here you are with us for a whole month. 

Our miracle, our rainbow baby, and our hope after the raging storm. Stu always tell me how amazing it is that you are already here with us, and amazing it indeed is. It has been a really long journey to have you arrive into our growing family's embrace. 

We used to be one of those couples that were untouched, separated, and outside of the realm of the loss. After all, we did have your older brothers, and we were naive to believe that we would not experience a heartache of a miscarriage. Unfortunately, our naivety was shaken up, and in that, we realized that life did not spare anybody from experiencing its thorns. 

The pain of our angel baby's loss is still very prominent. Somehow with having you here with us eases that pain, knowing that our angel baby has sent you to us, and having you here is profoundly healing. Having written these words, we also want you to realize that, while you are our blessing to our sadness, and that you are conductive in our healing as our rainbow baby, do know this: we love you dearly for who you are, for what you bring to our family even though we miss the chance and the possibility of the baby before you, you are set apart from our devastating loss, because you are uniquely YOU.  

You are clocking at 7 pounds, and 12 ounces! It is a surprise how fast you have gained since your birth. We jokingly call you our little piglet, since you are a champ at eating. Like Frank as a baby, you are quite small among your peers at only 20 percentile for weight. You are 20.75" tall, and that puts you in 54 percentile for height. You are an interesting mix of both Forrest, and Frank. You have Forrest's head shape, skin color tone, and nose, yet you have Franklin's lips, eye shape, and slim stature. Rest of your features is uniquely YOURS. It will be fun to watch you grow a bit more, and see who you resemble more.

The umbilical cord stump has fallen off. To my relief that the icky scab is gone, you now have a belly button! It is a bit hard to tell if it is an innie, or an outie. Time will tell once you get a bit older. The best part with having your belly button healed is that you are able to take baths instead of needing a sponge bath! Sadly, you are not a fan of baths! You're a voluble baby! You are definitely not afraid to let us know what is on your mind, little buddy. You scream, holler, and cry despite the water being warm, and the consistent room temperature. Once you are dried off, you are back to being a happy little baby. 

Your jaundice is slowly disappearing. The only sign left is a slightly touch of yellow-ness in your eyes. Nursing and sunlight are taking care of this for you. Before we know it, it will be gone. It does not affect how you nurse, or act on a day to day basis. Because of this, Dr. Karbon is not overly concerned. You are a healthy baby with no issues to worry about. This is a big change from our previous experience with Franklin when it comes to health, and care.

You wake up 2-3 times during the night to nurse, and be changed. It is not so terrible. Your witching hour begins at 2:30 am, and you tend to stay awake until 3:30-4:00 am. Darn the icky gas! You are more sensitive than your brothers when it comes to my diet going into the breast milk, and I often have to watch what kind of food I eat to reduce how often you have your 3 am party! I've learned that you don't like strong coffee late in the day, and because of that, I have to watch how much coffee I drink. You love to be bounced, and held, especially late in the night. Because of your late night shenanigans, it does take a bit of toll on me with sleep deprivation. However, what helps is knowing that this is only temporary. Before I know it, you will be sleeping through the night, and I will find myself missing those moments.

Bea, and the cats don't mind you. Bea is often too busy playing with Frank, and Forrest or sleeping to truly care. Missy Girl prefers to keep her company with me. Mr. Jinxy is most fascinated with you. He loves to rub his chin on your head! He is often sitting by your bassinet at the evening, watching over you. Mr. Jinxy enjoys having you near him...except when you start fussing, then he takes a refugee under the bed! 

Forrest, and Franklin love you so. With Forrest being a bit older, he is more engaged by helping giving me your diapers, clothes, and bathing! Franklin is still a bit too young to participate, and understand your vulnerability. Because of that, either Stu or I have to monitor Frank around you. Even so, Frank loves you so much, and always want to pet your hair (just like how Forrest is with Frank). Unlike Forrest, Frank does acknowledge your existence! We get a big laugh out remembering how it took Forrest a good year to acknowledge Franklin's existence. Thankfully, Frank is interested with your presence. He struggles more so with adjusting than Forrest is, and because of this, Stu and I make sure that Frank gets enough attention from us, and that if Frank is up for it, then Frank is able to help us out with your care. Frank gets a bit envious that Forrest holds you with limited assistance, and it is hard for him to understand that you are fragile to be left alone in his arms without an adult's help. We are grateful to have this problem though, because it goes to show how loved you are by your brothers!

Adjusting to having three of you is a continual process. Stu has been a huge help in taking the older two of boys off my hands so I'm able to shower, shop, and take care of you. It will be a challenge once Stu returns to work full-time, because it means I will have to learn how to juggle three of you until Forrest starts school again in fall! I have had small tastes of being on my own with three of you, and let me say this; it is an adventure! It is always chaotically fun, and sometimes, difficult to the point where I want to tear hair out of my head. Nonetheless, by the end of the day, I sit down, and realize that one day we will have a lot of stories to tell to you about your childhood with your older brothers! We have always wanted a big family of three to four kids, and we are so thankful for all the moments we have as a family. 

You don't mind tummy time too much. You like to be held against our chests, or to be babyworn. As a result, you are developing a strong neck already! It will be interesting to see when you hit your milestones. Will it be early, or on time, or late? We shall see, won't we?

Your personality is starting to emerge. For the most part, you are laid-back, which makes it easy for me to be able to attend other two boys' needs. You love your little swing. Being in a constant motion soothes you very much so. At the same time, you are not afraid to show your grumpiness. You can get quite fussy at times, which is a new territory for us, because we've been spoiled by other two not being overly fussy. Once you get fussy, it can be a bit hard to settle you down, and I have had often come up with tricks to soothe you. Among one of the tricks, I have discovered that you love to be bounced in my arms. Being wrapped against my chest is also one of your favorite ways to be held. I suspect it is to help to combat pressure in your belly from gas. Between babywearing, bouncing, and the little swinger, you are pretty set for the most part.


We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Words can't even begin to articulate how thankful we are to have your presence in our family. We look forward to what this month brings to you, and us.


Mama, Daddy, and the Boys